


Northern Madej sends his love

by bitter_dad (orphan_account)



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Graphic Description, Insecurity, M/M, Oblivious, sad boy, seriously bros, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 12:24:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18800290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/bitter_dad
Summary: Ryan is so, Tired of it. Day after day, Location after Location. ''Oh Ryan's just being a baby.'' ''Ryan's scared of everything.''Is Ryan even half the man he thought he was?In which Ryan loses himself in his mind.





	1. I've lost more songs to floods

It began on Friday.  
The boys were checking out The Fairmont Empress hotel for a new season of Unsolved.  
It was normal.  
Ryan stood in front of the entrance, Shane standing mere feet behind him.  
Tj nodded from behind the camera he set up. They Began filming.  
''Today we are in Victoria, British Columbia to investigate The Fairmont Empress Hotel for one of our first Canadian cases I believe. Don't check me on that-'' Ryan pointed at the camera, Shane laughing from behind him.  
Ryan continued ''For our ongoing investigation, are ghosts real?'' Shane shakes his head firmly behind him.  
Ryan laughs before turning back to the camera. Tj stops recording and gives him another thumbs up.  
Shane ruffles his hair, making Ryan turn around. ''Seriously dude? it's going to look weird now when we film inside later.'' Ryan whined flattening out his hair with his fingers.  
''Don't worry, the ghosts'll still wanna piece of that Ryan Bergara pie.'' Shane jokes. Ryan huffs out a ''you're damn right.'' before Devon claps her hands.  
''C'mon girls. Tj's already inside.'' 

The building looked like the interior of a grandma's soul.  
Wooden beams supported the roof, giving it a better sense of style.  
The floors were a yellowy grainy carpet with a green patterning, that matched the walls and chairs.  
Two golden chandeliers hung towards the back of the room.  
They sat the tripod on the end of the table, as Ryan and Shane sat down.  
Shane grabbed Ryan's folder and flipped through it. Seeming interested.  
''There doesn't seem to be a lot of stuff here pal. Sure you got enough ''evidence?'' Shane teased using air quotes.  
''Shut up Shane.'' Ryan scoffed, grabbing his folder.

Ryan began reading through the folder.  
''Victoria's very own- The Fairmont Empress hotel or better known as The Empress Hotel, is one of the oldest hotels they have.'' Ryan nods before continuing  
''It was built with 477 rooms, not including the four restaurants, gym facilities, a whirlpool bath, spa and indoor swimming pool.''  
''There couldn't have been 477 Syrupers then?? At most, there was probably like eighteen.'' Shane exclaims.  
''Syrupers??'' Ryan wheezed, burying his hand in his arms.  
''what do you even mean by eighteen.'' Ryan continued, laughing harder.  
''Well there's probably more than eighteen syrupers now eh. They've multiplied. Haven't y'all'' Shane wheezes pointing to the Camera.  
''God I hope no Canadians watch this.''

After a short break of Devon yelling at them to stop crying about Syrupers, Ryan continued with the story.  
''Many of the guests at the hotel have reported seeing a tall, skinny mustached man lurking the halls with a cane. It was said he was the building’s architect Francis Rattenbury.''  
Ryan looked over to Shane, who was glaring at his head with a soft expression. Ryan blushed but knew it was probably because Shane wanted him to continue speaking.  
So he pushed it down.  
''Rattenbury was murdered in 1935 by his chauffeur, who was with his wife at the time.''  
''Oh geez,'' Shane muttered, putting his hand on his cheek.  
''What?'' Ryan looked at the taller man.  
''isn't that a double hit. Get murked by the same man who's playing games with your wife.'' Shane chuckled looking back up at Ryan.  
''You can say fucking. This stopped being PG a while ago.'' Ryan tells him.  
''Playing some uh patty cake with his wife y'know.'' Shane winked at the camera, before letting out a wheeze.  
''moving on!'' Ryan wheezes.  
''Another sighting was of a maid, who died in 1909. Her name was Lizzie McGrath. She died by stepping out of the sixth floor. She supposedly thought it was a fire escape.  
However, they happened to of removed it without telling her.'' Ryan frowned.  
''awh''  
''Another spirit that may or may not be haunting this hotel is the ghost of a carpenter who hung himself during its construction. A year later a construction worker believed to of seen a shadowy figure hanging from the same spot on the ceiling.''  
''That would be frightening, yes.''  
''Which is why.. we're staying the night.'' Ryan gawked nervously.  
He didn't want to stay, but his boss knew the views would be crazy high if they did. So he was told to stay put.

Despite being in a large hotel, workers still had to clean most of the rooms.  
Ryan found himself in a fairly large room with a large bed in the middle. The blankets were yellow, gray and green.  
It was fine. Ryan could share a bed.  
With a guy that he had a very bad crush on...  
He sat with his suitcase on one side of the bed, and Shane on the other.  
''Did you bring that spirit toy of yours.'' Shane groaned.  
''Yep,'' Ryan mumbled, grabbing the Spirit box out of the bag.  
''Why do you bring it. It sounds like if a static tv and a chalkboard fucked and made the devil.'' Shane sighed, looking over at Ryan.  
He seemed so much smaller today.  
''I thought you didn't believe in demons.'' Ryan teased, putting the spirit box back in the bag.  
''I'm allowed to reference them!'' Shane exclaimed, grabbing Ryan's shoulders.  
Ryan flew back, suddenly below Shane's face.  
He blushed, thankful for his Mexican blood because his skin didn't show his blush.  
''Well Sorry sasquatch.'' Ryan teased, flicking his nose.  
''I'll show you sasquatch alright,'' Shane said pulling Ryan onto the middle of the bed.  
''W-What are you doing?'' Ryan stammered, regretting teasing Shane.  
Shane used his one noodle arm to hold him down, and the other to tickle his side.  
''NOOOOOOO.'' Ryan screeched, kicking his feet up.  
''Then stop being such a dink!'' Shane said, still tickling his side.  
Just then, Devon walks into the room.  
''Oh geez whoops. Sorry boys.'' Devon giggles, turning around.  
''No it's not what it looks like!'' Shane shouts, scrambling off of Ryan.  
''what do you mean,'' Devon asks, now with a phone in her hand.  
''This man, right here. Ryan Steven Bergara is a dink! I was just doing God's job and teaching him a lesson.'' Shane jokes with his hands proudly on his hips.  
''Pf okay. We shoot in 10 so get your butts down there soon ok?'' Devon nods before walking out, stifling a laugh with her hand.


	2. where thoughts can bloom

Devon and Tj left the hotel for them to Flim the rest.  
They sat in a common room, the tripod on the table.  
Ryan clapped and started talking.  
Shane zoned out for most of it.  
It took all his energy to stay awake.   
''I brought the spirit box, I was hoping to get something here in this room,'' Ryan informs the camera.  
Shane looked back at Ryan's lowly dimmed face.  
Was Ryan always this small? He seemed out of it today.

''Shane? You good?'' Ryan asks, eyeing him weirdly.  
''Fine! Just waiting for that darn spirit box to end.'' Shane lied, smiling as though he was listening.  
''I just started it-''   
''I'm already tired of it.'' Shane groaned, the device blaring in his ears.  
''Sorry sas'' Ryan teased, but even his jokes weren't hitting right.  
Shane let out a bigger groan, putting his head in his hands.  
''Is there anyone out there with us?'' Ryan paused.   
''kssijsjiejsjsjjk-f-sjkeisjk-all.'' The spirit box spewed.  
''Fall? is this Lizzie we're speaking to?'' Ryan asked, biting his lip anxiously.  
''C'mon Ryan. This is just a radio connection.'' Shane retorted annoyed.  
Ryan glares at him disappointedly before looking back at the spirit box.  
''KSKEENJBISDNJIGVJBGDFBJIF-R-xhbsjsjd-y-WNHSJIEJSNJ-an''   
Ryan glances at Shane, almost to say ''holy fuck'' before the spirit box started screeching loudly.  
''SJIJGRDKJSKO-Don't- SJKIKSEJJNSK- Trust-NJHSIJJSKIEJMS-''   
Shane turned it off.  
''What the fuck dude!'' Ryan yells, grabbing the spirit box from his grasp.  
''It's spewing a bunch of bullshit that's gonna stop you from sleeping!'' Shane shouted back at him.  
''I'm not a kid! It won't do shit!'' Ryan replies, fuming with anger already.  
‘’Really? I’d like to believe that.’’ Shane spat, getting out of his chair.  
''I'm not a fucking kid. I have more courage then you most of the time.'' Ryan yells, standing up.  
''You've got the same amount of courage as a kid Ryan. You're just a little baby searching for proof of something that doesn't FUCKING exist!''   
Shane went too far.  
Ryan backs down, tears at the corner of his eyes.  
''You're right.''   
He walks off.

Ryan sits in the tub in the bathroom of their room, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.  
He cradles himself back and forth.   
His chest felt as though it was about to cave in. His head filled with the memories of his ex.  
‘’Goddammit Ryan! I’m so tired of you. Why can’t you stop worrying about the past and move on like a fucking human being! I’m so done with you!   
No one could love someone like you, so why would you expect me to?’’  
He was right. He always would be.   
Why did he expect things to work out, for him to find a happy ending?  
He forgot his anxiety pills at home.   
Ryan stays in the tub for another hour.

Shane wasn't worried.  
He and Ryan would always be friends. He just had to apologize and they could be best buds again.  
Or at least that's what he told himself.  
Shane found him in the tub, unable to form any words.  
''Go.'' Ryan pleads.  
Shane listens to him.

Ryan and Shane go back to recording an hour later.  
Playing pretend happy.  
''We'll be staying in this room for five minutes each, to see if we can get any interactions,'' Ryan tells him blankly.  
''Okay, you go first,'' Shane says, awkwardly.

Ryan steps into the room, in the already dark basement.  
''If there are any spirits that would uh like to talk? I'm here... So uh do whatever you have to do.'' Ryan says sitting on the ground.  
A minute goes by, ''ah fuck fuck fuck.'' Ryan screeches nervously. He felt fingers in his hair.  
''I-I-feel fingers in my hair. Moving it around.'' Ryan tells the camera, crawling over to the other side of the room.  
''Are you sure that's not the wind.'' Shane croaks from outside the door.  
''Shut the fuck up, I'm sure alright.'' Ryan snarls, clearly upset by the comment.

''Your five minutes are up,'' Shane announces, opening the door.   
Ryan walks out, sliding past Shane.  
''Alright your turn.'' Ryan sighs, closing the door on Shane.  
''Ay pals and gals, and my nonbinary friends, nals.'' Shane jokes, sitting by the corner.  
''If y'all wanna uh fuck around with this beanpole known as me, go ahead! I'm a pretty fun guy if I say so myself, ain't that right Ryan?'' Shane asks.  
''Fuck off.'' Ryan groans.  
''See guys? He's jealous of y'all being such good buds with me. If you existed I'd totally grab a Beer or something with you, but since you don't...'' Shane trails off.  
Nothing happens to him in there, other than the air being so cold.  
''The five minutes are up.''

Later, they find themselves setting up Cameras in front of their beds. Not a word was spoken between the two.  
Until...  
''If that's what you really thought of me. Why are you still being friendly.'' Ryan mumbles, looking away from the equipment.  
''I- Ryan that's not what I really think of you. I was just stressed, I don't know why I did it.'' Shane stammers embarrassed.  
''No- Shane it's okay. You were right.'' Ryan claims, rubbing his arm anxiously.  
''What? What do you mean I was right. Tell me you don't actually think of yourself that way?!'' Shane fretts, putting his arms on Ryan's shoulders.  
''Well-''   
''What the fuck Ryan! You should have told me what the-''   
''Please stop yelling at me...'' Ryan pleads, looking at his face now.   
''I'm sorry,'' Shane whispers. He wraps his arms around his smaller companion.  
Ryan stands there limply for a second before reaching his arms around his neck.  
''I am too.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll update it again - with more fluff than angst.  
> I know there was barely any fluff But the next song is Mad as rabbits!!   
> that's like a gay love song so--
> 
> Leave comments or something if you actually liked this so far, maybe I'll make it a longer chapter next time.  
> pls be nice am just a baby Canadian


	3. we must reinvent love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uwu

Ryan didn't sleep that night. He lies on his side of the bed, being pushed down by the weight of dread. Shane was just pitying him. If he wanted to lie, say that he didn't actually think that about Ryan, that would be okay. It would be okay. 

Okay. Okay. **Okay.**

_creak_

Ryan froze, his limbs going numb. Footsteps repeating outside of the room's door. Ryan pondered if waking up Shane would be a good idea or not.

The footsteps continued.

''S-Shane? Do you hear that?'' Ryan asked shakily, his hands starting to tremble. 

Shane grunted before sitting up. ''It's probably just the cleanin-'' 

_**BANG** _

Something hit their door. Whether Shane liked it or not, he knew he had to figure out what it was if he was to calm Ryan down.

''Stay here.'' Shane whispered to Ryan, with a finger over his mouth.

He crept steadily towards the red door, taking a deep breath before grabbing the handle.

He ripped it open, looking down the hallway.

A thin man stood there, so pale it was like he was translucent. 

''Why did you bang on the door?'' Shane asked, confused out of his mind.

The elderly man turned around, eyes bulging from his head.

He disappeared.

Shane closed the door.

He was almost sure he looked as pale as the thing that was there.

There had to be a reasonable explanation. 

Maybe it was a reflection?? 

But of what.

Shane walked over to Ryan, wrapping his arms around his trembling co-host.

''Shane I- I gotta tell you something,'' Ryan whispered.

What now. This, this was good. What they had right now.

He sounded afraid.

''Ok shoot'' Shane replied, tightening his hold around Ryan.

''I uh don't know how to say this.'' Ryan huffed, his body shaking like an old fan.

''Easy, use your mouth.'' Shane chuckled, getting pinched by Ryan.

''Ow! okay!- okay I get it!'' 

''I- I like you? I.. I have for a year now.. I just thought that maybe? Maybe you should know..?'' Ryan stuttered, rambling with his words.

Shane froze.

Ryan liked him? But- that didn't make sense. How could he? 

He let go of Ryan and ran to the bathroom.

Shane grabbed his phone and went to messages.

 

 _Shane:_ Sara!!!! Sara please!! Ryan told me he liked me and I kinda ran away

 _Shane:_ ohmygodsarawhatamI supposed to do,, I can hear him crying in the room sara ohmygod

 _Sara_ _:D :_  WhaTIGJGJNI I THOUGHT YOU LIKED HIM 

 _Shane:_ I  DO O 

 _Sara:D :_ THEN WHY DID YOU RUN

 _Shane:_ B E CAU S E MY  B I  ASS BRAIN CAN'T WORK FOR SH IT?? ? WHAT DO I DO

 _Sara:D :_ BOI LIKE I KNOW,,  J  u ST be yourself!!! If He likes you then that should work!!

 _Shane:_ That's literally the most grandma answer I've EVER heard. Thx granny

 _Sara:D :_ Be urself darling- gotta go bake some cookies,,go get ur mans

 _Shane:_ Ok Grandma :D

 

Shane took a deep breath, looking in the mirror.

He winked, before eternally cringing at himself.

Opening the door, he turned to see Ryan pulling out his hair on the bed.

God he had no idea what to say.

''um Ryan?'' He started, but Ryan didn't look up at him.

He walked over to the bed, getting a glimpse of Ryan's face. It was Red and full of tears.

His heart dropped, Ryan really wasn't fooling him, Was he?

He didn't know what to say, he just wrapped his arms around the smaller body.

''I'm sorry, I know you don't like me. I'm sorry I did that to you-'' Ryan whimpered, leaning out of the hug.

''No- don't be. I'm sorry I didn't do this sooner-''

Ryan turned to face him as Shane was leaning in. His pink lips meeting with Ryan's. 

Shane was?? K is sing him??? what??

He remembered to kiss back. Shane's shruff scratching him in all the right ways.

The kiss lasted for 15 seconds before Shane pulled back.

Ryan hugged him. 

The weight of his insecurities dropping off of his shoulders.

\-----------------------------

3 months later (owo)

Shane and Ryan sat in a large field, with a beautiful lake view.

Ryan opened a picnic basket, grabbing a picnic blanket from the top.

He gave one end to Shane, setting it up in a square on the ground. 

Shane sat down near the corner. Ryan took it as an invitation is cuddle up beside him.

''Turn on that Radio Sas'' Ryan murmured, his fingers in 'Sas's' Hair. 

He turned the Radio onto Hits from 2000's

She had the world by Panic! At the disco started playing

''I, I know why  
Because when I look in her eyes'' the Radio blared

Ryan looked up at Shane, who was singing along. 

''When I look in his eyes, Well I, just see the sky.'' Shane sang, rubbing his thumb along Ryan's cheek.

He leaned into the touch. 

''But who could love me?  
I am out of my mind'' Ryan Sang, grabbing Shane's other hand.

He sat up, leaning into Shane's chest.

''I do'' Shane answers, connecting their lips.

 

Because when Ryan was around, It really felt like he had the world.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used 2 songs for this  
> Mad as rabbits- the title  
> and She had the world by Panic! At the disco
> 
> Sorry, this wasn't like good or anything, Kinda my first time writing anything like this..  
> Thanks for reading though! (sorry about that break too- I got grounded)

**Author's Note:**

> emo gang rise up  
> *more northern downpour references later though oof  
> um sorry this chapter wasn't progressive! But there will be fluff in the next one, which I'll write tomorrow  
> (or technically today because it's 3:44 AM and I haven't gone to sleep yet)  
> Please tell me if any of you enjoyed it!  
> am just a smol babey canadian ok


End file.
